That's National Novel Writing Month (November 1st to 30th) to the uninitiated. Starting at midnight, I’m writing 1700 words a day for thirty days and will finish the month with slightly over 50,000 words.
Last year I made my goal. The least I wrote per day was about 1300 words, the most was 3500 (to make that final push and go over the target a few days early). As long as you average out to 1667 at least. You can’t have too many 1300 word days and expect to win.
Last year I won. I know it’s doable. If you go into this with the right mindset, you need to write quickly and freely, not worrying about how well you’re writing or if everything is grammatically perfect. You can’t go back and agonize that your plotting or characterizations aren’t perfect. You can’t edit. Not until December first. You don’t have to finish your novel.
The best achievement with NaNo is showing you proof that you can write a good amount of words in one month. Maybe you couldn’t keep it up every month, but if you want to be a writer – to write at least one novel – you wouldn’t need to. Even if you took three or four months to write 100,000 words and another month or two to edit and a few more months for it to make the rounds of your more literate friends for grammar polishing and plot first aid, that’s still a finished book a less than a year. One that’s in pretty good shape, hopefully, by the end of the process. Maybe even a book that’s close to publishable.
This year I’m nervous. I’m afraid of freezing. Afraid of the dreaded sophomore slump. Afraid that I’ll care too much about how this work turns out and not be able to tell myself each day, as I sit down to write, “well I’m going to work on my crappy novel now.”
It worked last year. If I set out deciding that what I wrote would be garbage, it helped keep me going.
Last year I my aim was to prove to myself that I could write the amount. My 50,000 words needed quite a bit of editing and rewriting to fix plot holes, but for the most part it flowed much better than I thought I would.
This year I’m trying to exceed last year’s goal. I’ve worked harder beforehand on plotting and structure. I’ve tried to think of plot points that would drive the story onward instead of just meandering about (a flaw in last year’s work). I’m not expecting the writing to be any better or worse than last year, but I do hope, at the end of this, the story will hang together more tightly.
Hmmm… that’s 509 words (for the whole blog; I didn’t do a word count until I finished this). About three times more than that, and I’ll have a day’s word count. It’s not a matter of luck; it’s determination. Here’s hoping I have some of both though.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
An open letter to the people (and government) of Kazakhstan
Dear folks:
Don't worry about that Borat movie. Most of the civilized world understands vicious satire. And, like Oscar Wilde once stated: "It is better to be talked about than not to be talked about." Someone else said, "There's no such thing as bad publicity," though, since I can't remember who, he obviously didn't get enough of it. If any of you are familiar with the name Paris Hilton, you know the truth of the above statements.
Nobody in the United States believes anything seen on screen, including the news. We take everything with a grain of salt. We are the nation of stand-up comedians, spin doctors, and lawyers. We have no standards. None of the Americans the Borat guy fooled in the filming of the movie seem to care unless they go to see it and find their screen time got cut. Then you'll hear screaming.
Look at McDonalds. Are they upset about Fast Food Nation? Not a corporate lawyer in sight. Since the fast food joint in the movie is called 'Mickeys' you can't get much more obvious. But McDonalds understands that they are untouchable. As long as they make tasty fried mass produced food-like products at a reasonable price, the world will be pouring money into their coffers.
If one enterprising Kazakhstani follows the same path, there could be a Koumis and horse sausage kiosk on every street corner on Earth by 2025. Though take my advice and study McDonalds' methods: up the sugar content of the former and deep fry the latter. McNuggets were an acquired taste in China and Qatar.
Don't worry about any of us here thinking worse of Kazakhstan. Until this brouhaha over the Borat movie, 98% of us didn't know there was a Kazakhstan. That two percent did is thanks for the most part to an American movie: Air Force One. And that was largely because Gary Oldman played the lead terrorist. Who wasn't a wimp or a clown. He was kickin.
Since the controversy broke, the number of people here who know about Kazakhstan is at least five percent and rising. Which is spectacular since the guy who plays Borat is no Gary Oldman.
Don't take the ignorance of Americans as a slur against Kazakhstan. We're famous for our lack of geographic knowledge and our disinterest in any cultures other than our own. According to a CNN article last May, two-thirds of Americans aged 18 to 24 can't find Iraq or Iran on a map. Heck, 33% of them can't even find Louisiana. The shameful part is that of the 33%, 5% live in Louisiana. Okay, I made the last one up. I hope.
Movie stars are even worse, not just the American ones (the Borat guy is English, by the way). Eighty-seven percent of them can't find their butts with a map and a guide.*
So, in conclusion, the Borat movie can only be beneficial for Kazakhstan. None of the bad stuff will be remembered (or believed) for an instant. If you're still worried, hire an official spokesperson. Preferably a movie star. Gary Oldman might be free. Pose him next to an oil well with a big glass of Koumis. Did I mention we also love countries with big oil wells who don't hate us? That Borat guy is English, by the way. Colonial oppression, looking down on the natives, what, what. Not one of us.
*Just a little joke on my part, which movie stars would be the first to laugh at. All movie stars know where their a$$ is. They spend most of their time with their heads up there, removing them only when a photo op presents itself. When a photographer or movie camera appears at a Hollywood party, it sounds like dozens of champagne bottles uncorking at once. Very festive.
Don't worry about that Borat movie. Most of the civilized world understands vicious satire. And, like Oscar Wilde once stated: "It is better to be talked about than not to be talked about." Someone else said, "There's no such thing as bad publicity," though, since I can't remember who, he obviously didn't get enough of it. If any of you are familiar with the name Paris Hilton, you know the truth of the above statements.
Nobody in the United States believes anything seen on screen, including the news. We take everything with a grain of salt. We are the nation of stand-up comedians, spin doctors, and lawyers. We have no standards. None of the Americans the Borat guy fooled in the filming of the movie seem to care unless they go to see it and find their screen time got cut. Then you'll hear screaming.
Look at McDonalds. Are they upset about Fast Food Nation? Not a corporate lawyer in sight. Since the fast food joint in the movie is called 'Mickeys' you can't get much more obvious. But McDonalds understands that they are untouchable. As long as they make tasty fried mass produced food-like products at a reasonable price, the world will be pouring money into their coffers.
If one enterprising Kazakhstani follows the same path, there could be a Koumis and horse sausage kiosk on every street corner on Earth by 2025. Though take my advice and study McDonalds' methods: up the sugar content of the former and deep fry the latter. McNuggets were an acquired taste in China and Qatar.
Don't worry about any of us here thinking worse of Kazakhstan. Until this brouhaha over the Borat movie, 98% of us didn't know there was a Kazakhstan. That two percent did is thanks for the most part to an American movie: Air Force One. And that was largely because Gary Oldman played the lead terrorist. Who wasn't a wimp or a clown. He was kickin.
Since the controversy broke, the number of people here who know about Kazakhstan is at least five percent and rising. Which is spectacular since the guy who plays Borat is no Gary Oldman.
Don't take the ignorance of Americans as a slur against Kazakhstan. We're famous for our lack of geographic knowledge and our disinterest in any cultures other than our own. According to a CNN article last May, two-thirds of Americans aged 18 to 24 can't find Iraq or Iran on a map. Heck, 33% of them can't even find Louisiana. The shameful part is that of the 33%, 5% live in Louisiana. Okay, I made the last one up. I hope.
Movie stars are even worse, not just the American ones (the Borat guy is English, by the way). Eighty-seven percent of them can't find their butts with a map and a guide.*
So, in conclusion, the Borat movie can only be beneficial for Kazakhstan. None of the bad stuff will be remembered (or believed) for an instant. If you're still worried, hire an official spokesperson. Preferably a movie star. Gary Oldman might be free. Pose him next to an oil well with a big glass of Koumis. Did I mention we also love countries with big oil wells who don't hate us? That Borat guy is English, by the way. Colonial oppression, looking down on the natives, what, what. Not one of us.
*Just a little joke on my part, which movie stars would be the first to laugh at. All movie stars know where their a$$ is. They spend most of their time with their heads up there, removing them only when a photo op presents itself. When a photographer or movie camera appears at a Hollywood party, it sounds like dozens of champagne bottles uncorking at once. Very festive.
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